Sunday, March 18, 2012

Second Chance

Here is an excerpt out of my story that I am currently writing, feel free to comment


It’s the little things you miss when you die, like your favorite pair of jeans and that fabulous purple nail polish. All those things were taken away from me on a dark December night. My killer was never arrested. I don’t remember a lot about that night, but I do know that I was murdered. Until now I’ve been stuck watching my family grieve and my friends tittering nervously by my forsaken locker. But now I am going to get a second chance, my goal is simple; find my killer…….before they find me.

3 comments:

  1. I love the first line! Here are some changes I would make:
    All of these things were taken away from me on the dark Deecember night. (Add a line to flow to the killer).
    And what do you mean by forsaken locker?

    But now I am getting a second chance

    I like the word tittering

    -B

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  2. Cool poem, Totally great


    - Scarlett

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  3. If this were an opening paragraph to a novel, I would read it. Please continue writing it!

    -Princess

    ReplyDelete