Monday, August 20, 2012

Old School Project


My name is KrepBadgehUxo, alien overlord of the Haxornova people.  In 2210, my people conquered the planet formerly known as Earth.  I must now lead my people into the planet without any opposition from the practically extinct humans and no casualties suffered.  To do this, I need the help of one of them.  Although it seems rather ridiculous that I would seek advice from a mere creature such as a homo sapien, one of their species’ help could be vital in the relocation of my people, so I will do my absolute best to find the most intellectual member of this species to help in my endeavors. 
The first person nominated for the position of my advisor is Grace Kim. At 15 years old, she seems too juvenile for this position, but we shall continue anyway.  Her favorite animal other than herself is the dog, with her favorite dog being a pug.  Her preferred diet, like most humans, consists of anything but vegetables.  She spends her leisure time on various and sundry activities.  Some of these are staying in her home or attending religious services.  Her music of choice is the profanity-laced poetic style known as hip-hop.  She appears as the stern, unrelenting type of person whose word is law. 
The second nominee is Cody Lathe.  He is 15 years old as well, which puts him in the same juvenile position as Grace Kim.  He is of an average stature for his species, standing at 5 feet and 5 inches in height.  His hair is elongated and the color of rust.  He spends his time playing videogames or playing baseball.  His preferred food is the delicacy known as tuna roll sushi, or rice and raw tuna fish wrapped in seaweed or algae.  He appears as the rugged man who has spent most of his life doing laborious tasks such as extracting milk from bovines or growing crops in the fields. 
The third nominee is Alan M. Farmer.  His dream occupation involves espionage, deceit, and secrecy.  It is to be an agent for the Federal Bureau of Investigation.  When it comes to sports, his favorite is American football, with his favorite team being the Patriots of the New England area.  His motion picture of choice is the fourth installment in the Scary Movie series, which is a parody of history’s most renowned horror stories.  The superhero he likes the most is Captain America, the genetically engineered super-soldier of World War II.  His favorite part of his educational system is physical education due to the fact that it is pleasurable.  Though most of his interests are childlike, his physical appearance is anything but childlike, with facial hair starting to appear. 
The fourth and final nominee is Raquel Lucio.  She is initially shy and quiet, but is outgoing.  She is not prone to outbursts and is friendly.  Her favorite color is purple.  If she were to have any superhuman feat, it would be flight because it gives the feeling of freedom.  She does not watch much television on a daily basis and the beverage that she prefers the most is coffee.  She appears as the voice that people would listen to. 
After analyzing the four nominees, my choice for advisor is Raquel Lucio.  Her appearance leads me to believe that I should listen to what she has to say.  While Alan M. Farmer’s facial hair is convincing, he wishes to be an agent, which involves deceit and espionage.  He may attempt to betray me and lead a revolution.  Cody Lathe’s appearance leads me to believe that he knows nothing but agriculture.  Grace Kim was an option, but I feared that her sternness may lead to unrest.  The inhabitation of the planet formerly known as Earth now lies in the hands and mind of Raquel Lucio.  If she fails, she will be eliminated. 

This was from last year. 
-Phelonius Munk 

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